From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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