Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
