Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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