Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
