I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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