I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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