She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize