This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
