Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
