oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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