I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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