Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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