Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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