I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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