watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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