He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize