Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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