she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
