Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
