just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
