I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
