after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
