remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
