Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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