im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
