I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
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you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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