Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
