someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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