btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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