There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
