guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
