I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
dude. I can hear the air.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
