they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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