Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
