I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
