How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize