Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
