I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
