so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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