That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
