What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wear drunk well.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
