Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
