Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.

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  (614): I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone. http://tfl.nu/eom9
  Replies (4) Good night (665) Bad night (854)
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  (707): View more from California

  I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever

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  (707): I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever http://tfl.nu/38jn
  Replies (51) Good night (6569) Bad night (764)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"

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  (978): why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm" http://tfl.nu/ynyp
  Replies (64) Good night (6565) Bad night (899)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.

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  (972): 85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing. http://tfl.nu/910d
  Replies (13) Good night (933) Bad night (6395)
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  (845): View more from New York

  alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.

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  (845): alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization. http://tfl.nu/1m6d
  Replies (16) Good night (8715) Bad night (1370)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards

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  (540): I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards http://tfl.nu/0mpw
  Replies (12) Good night (1329) Bad night (3022)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.

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  (708): I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex. http://tfl.nu/cwao
  Replies (10) Good night (3637) Bad night (1053)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way

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  (239): Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way http://tfl.nu/7r2y
  Replies (13) Good night (4490) Bad night (921)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context

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  (859): there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context http://tfl.nu/uw18
  Replies (4) Good night (2472) Bad night (1006)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd

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  (940): Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd http://tfl.nu/3aq9
  Replies (5) Good night (2651) Bad night (1316)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.

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  (573): I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days. (573): Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven. http://tfl.nu/oqxt
  Replies (7) Good night (1264) Bad night (615)
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  (619): View more from California

  I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.

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  (619): I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now. http://tfl.nu/s7lw
  Replies (7) Good night (919) Bad night (724)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.

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  (785): I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie. http://tfl.nu/su8u
  Replies (6) Good night (1302) Bad night (485)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!

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  (337): And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir! http://tfl.nu/0uwq
  Replies (1) Good night (497) Bad night (346)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.

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  (315): He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left. http://tfl.nu/ssuu
  Replies (1) Good night (699) Bad night (280)

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