so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
