Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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