At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
