how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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