So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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