I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
