I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
