Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
