she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
