I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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