My room smells like vodka and shame
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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