NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I am available for nakedness
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
