Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
