He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
