so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Vodka?
Forever.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
