I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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