he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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