You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
