ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
